Trex Kelley: Agent for H.I.R.E.

My entry for the Epic Movie Poster Contest 2012

From the film treatments options given, I chose 'TREX KELLEY: AGENT FOR H.I.R.E' because I liked the synopsis and I had an idea for a composition after reading it.

I have pasted it herebelow:

As a child, Trent Xavier Kelley would sit up late at night reading Ian Fleming and Robert Ludlum novels. While the other kids played "Cops and Robbers", "Cowboys and Indians" or "Dungeons and Dragons", Trent only ever wanted to play "Interrogate the Mole". As a result, Trent didn't have many friends as a child. As a teen, he was expelled from High School after an incident involving locking a cheerleader from a rival school in a car, and torturing her with "Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits " until she revealed all her football team's strengths and weaknesses. He may have gotten expelled, but his school's team went undefeated that year. Now an adult, Trent still believes his destiny is to be the world's greatest secret agent, despite the fact that no agency in the world would touch him with a ten foot pole. Not letting little things like lack of training, zero aptitude for the job and marginal common sense get in his way - he decided to start his own secret agent agency - Helpful Intelligence Recon and Espionage... H.I.R.E.

Although advertising a freelance super-secret intelligence agency on the internet may seem counterproductive (Their headquarters are easily found on Google Maps), it fit right into Trent's airtight spy logic: "hide in plain sight". With the help of his girlfriend Dolly (codename: Dollface) and his childhood pal Eugene (codename: Genie), H.I.R.E. would gain minor success in many low-profile missions. (Operation: Facebook Fiasco, Operation: Pajama Party and Operation: Lunchmeat). Indeed... it would seem that Trent's dream of being a world class spy was just that... a dream. But one day, a mysterious visitor named Anon A. Mousse would change everything.

Mr. Mousse would present the team with a plush teddy bear he would call "special" and "very valuable". The agency's mission would be to get this bear across country, and safely delivered to a man named S. Quarrel. He promises it would be a dangerous mission as there are those who would do anything to get their hands on this particular bear. With no other cases to pursue, $10,000 cash to take the job and another $50,000 upon completion, and the possibility of danger?!? It was an offer they couldn't refuse. Operation: Beartrap was in effect! What H.I.R.E. didn't know, was that the eyes of the bear were actually priceless stolen gems, and that they were being used as mules to illegally transport them. Furthermore, they were pawns in a much larger international jewel smuggling ring... one that already had the attention of Scotland Yard.

It's not long into their journey before the "bear hunters" would start to come out of the woodworks. The Russian Seductress (codename: Natasha) who gets just a little too friendly with Trex. She is trying to get to the bear for her gangster boss (codename: Boris). Of course Trex is so much into playing the suave leading man to her villainess, he doesn't realize how deadly she really is. The Hitman (codename: Stutter). An imposing man with a bad speech impediment. He has been hired to retrieve the jewels by their rightful owner. Agent Conrad (codename: Brenda). An actual MI-6 agent who is following Trex and company in hopes of busting the entire jewel operation. Although H.I.R.E. will believe they are doing an amazing job, it is in reality Brenda who saves them from capture and death at almost every turn.

By train, plane, boat, bus and bicycle – follow the crazy adventures of our intrepid agents for H.I.R.E. as they are pursued and hunted across the country. There will be thrilling stunts, paintball fights, escalator chases, cross-dressing, romance, a hysterical set of mix-ups involving 5 identical teddy bears, and an action packed comedic climax you will not want to miss! I bet this ever happened to “the other guy”.

Characters:
Trent Xavier Kelley (codename: Trex) – Self-proclaimed super spy. The epitome of all the stereotypes (but none of the abilities) of successful agents before him. There will never be another like him... we hope! He has the good looks, the style and the swagger every TV and movie spy strives for. Too bad he learned how to be a spy from TV and the movies.

Dolly Norman (codename: Dollface) – Trent’s talentless wannabe actress girlfriend and part-time agent for H.I.R.E. She's thinks of herself a master of disguise and characters, but usually she is remembered as that girl with the bad wig and worse accent.

Eugene Green (codename: Genie) – Webmaster and social networking guru for H.I.R.E. He's more or less (mostly less) a whiz with anything computer related. While his co-operatives believe he is a genius at gaining vital intelligence, the reality is... he mostly Googles everything he needs to know.

The Russian Seductress (codename: Natasha) – The sexy and exotic assassin who is trying to get to the bear for her boss. Although… she is not after the bear H.I.R.E. is carrying. The bear she is looking for (identical to theirs) contains a flash drive with sensitive information. Not only is she pursuing the wrong bear… but in pursuit of it, she will mistakenly poison the wrong person, shoot the twin brother of an intended target, and dial a wrong number that will come back to haunt her.

The Gangster (codename: Boris) – A mob boss trying to retrieve a flash drive full of incriminating evidence, hidden inside of a teddy bear identical to the one H.I.R.E. is transporting. He will stop at nothing, and has sent his best agent from New Jersey (Natalie (aka The Russian Seductress (codename: Natasha))) to get it!

The Hitman (codename: Stutter) – A large, imposing man with a terrible speech impediment. His tendency to get excited and stutter when he threatens his victims will result in them getting impatient in waiting for him to finish his threat and in many cases, comically misinterpreting what they think he's trying to say. He has been sent to retrieve the bear for its rightful owner, Penelope Cauldwell (codename: The Princess), daughter of international bad guy Gregor Cauldwell (codename: Big Daddy)

Agent Conrad (codename: Brenda) – An actual MI-6 agent assigned to uncovering and busting the international jewel smuggling ring. She is aware H.I.R.E. is not actually a part of the criminal organization, but sees them as a means to an end in leading her to the top man. Little did she know she would spend so much time keeping them out of trouble. Most every breakthrough and cool deed pulled off by H.I.R.E. has actually been simplified or outright executed by her. While she finds the trio to be bumbling morons, in the end she grows to appreciate and even commend their determination and resolve. After all, it is Trex who will ultimately save her from certain death - albeit in the most inadvertent way possible.

The Kid (codename: The Kid) – 11 year-old boy who had his teddy bear stolen by a lady with a bad wig and a worse accent. By now do we have to tell you what the bear looked like and who grabbed it? At any rate… this kid seems to have infinite resources, and will do anything to get “Officer Fuzzypants” back.




Stock photos used:
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All other photos were taken and drawn by me.